If you have not read the blogs that led up to now, I suggest you start there so that you have context and background information…
Here are the blogs;
Part 1 Of My Endometriosis Journey
Part 2 Of My Endometriosis Journey
Part 3 Of My Endometriosis Journey
Lets get into it...
So I had an operation right, and now I should be able to conceive and my body is supposed to know what it needs to do now right? Aha! The joke was on me.
After the operation, my Dr put me on depo for 3 months so that I do not get my periods, and he also mentioned that it will make me heal faster, without any questions, I just followed through and used it. After all the Dr knows what is best for me. I mean, he has been doing this for a while.
I went for my 6 weeks post operation follow up appointment with him, all was well, he did not see any issues. I still struggled when I did nr 2. It was painful, at this stage, when I told him that, he suggested I go see a psychiatrist, because he suspected that it was all in the mind! This ticked me off so much, him being a man does not help because he has never had a period in his life (So I think), I mean how would he know what I was experiencing was a mind thing?!
I left that room feeling like my body was failing me. Did I see a psychiatrist? NO, but I went to my psychologist. One of the things that I spoke at length with her is the fact that we had been trying to conceive and I felt like my body was failing me. What she told me still resonates with me today and I find it helpful in times where I feel like things are not happening at the pace or way, I feel they should. She said: "Imagine if we all got married at the same time with our friends and family members, and we all bought houses and cars at the same time. Who would attend whose wedding or housewarming?”
I sat there looking at her in disbelief, and I sighed… What I understood is that things happen at the right time, even if you don’t feel like the time is now, what will be for you will be and you have no control of the time when it will be. When someone you love achieves something you have been longing for, congratulate them and celebrate with them and celebrate them. You will also be celebrated when you achieve things that you have been longing for. This can be applied to life as a whole and not just this scenario or trying to conceive. When someone you love is celebrated, it is not only their win, it is your win too and it will benefit you in the long run. So let's be happy for others.
The way I balled!!! Yoh! I cried, and cried for the remainder of that session. I mean what do you say after someone says things that could be said by Maya Angelou to you? What come back can you possibly have? ZERO!!!
The Dr had advised that after 3 months post operation, we can try again. Need I say that in these 3 months I did not get my period at all! My period came on the 4th month after the operation and I embraced it! Then the tracking of periods started, the obsession of a positive ovulation test and the sadness that came with missing your period and for it to come after you test! YHO! This is one thing that people who don’t struggle with conceiving don’t know and understand.
When I got my period I went back to my Dr again to say I tried last month and It did not work. (His wait times are crazy, you can wait upto 3 months to get an appointment, but because he runs fertility treatment on site, and you need to see him when your period comes, you are prioritised and skip the queue. My period was not as painful as it used to be before the operation, but it was kind of painful still. ☹
This is when I started with letrozole that he gave me to kickstart the fertility process and my partner was given medicine to increate his sperm count and mobility even though he had healthy sperm. Left the rooms feeling like a million bucks and optimistic that this month is it! I even started counting that if I fall pregnant this month, my baby would be born when and also doing the Chinese gender calendar to see if I would have a girl or boy.
The thing about trying to conceive is that it is hard, it can quickly become an obsession, it can affect your relationship negatively and it can isolate you from your loved ones! So try and be mindful in this trying time. Be kind to yourself and your partner.
I started the letrozole and when I thought I was ovulating, the deed happened and the things that had to make the baby happen, happened! Then the wait… after 8 days of missing my periods, I woke up on my period. (The best time to test for pregnancy is 10 days after missing your period) to say I was sad, was an understatement. I was devasted! I cried and did not feel like waking up that day. I went to work and on my way to work, I called my Dr’s office to make another appointment for the letrozole and check up. (You know how it goes *rolls eyes*) I got another prescription and this happened on all 3 cycles and I did not fall pregnant. When we went again after the third period, Dr suggested that we try Intrauterine insemination (IUI), and increased my dosage of letrozole. We did 3 cycles of it and still the pregnancy test was negative. My relationship was just not in a good space because all I wanted was a baby!
I even thought of polygamy. Every time I went to the mall, it felt like pregnant women just got off the bus, because all I could see in this time was pregnant people. I felt miserable to be honest and I did not like the person I was becoming! Our finances were also affected, the medical aid was exhausted and it was not even June. The IUI was R4500 in 2017, I am not sure how much it costs now and it excluded the medication we both needed to take.
When we went to the Dr for the last period on IUI, we spoke about what happens if I don’t conceive in this period and what we concluded was that the best possible way to go would be In vitro fertilization (IVF). So when my next period came at the end of the IUI, I decided to take a break from conceiving, (Please don’t ever tell someone trying to conceive to take a break, it will hurt them).
Yes I was told to take a break by my support structure and I hated it. So when I did it on my own it was such a breath of fresh air. I started being a fun and pleasant person to be with. I congratulated people who were pregnant without crying myself to sleep.
When I told this to my late mother, she told me to enjoy this time with my husband and work on rekindling our relationship and more than anything enjoy each other. She advised me to rest more and go out more. I did that, and I felt alive!!! I was in a better space emotionally and physically. She advised me to also heal myself as I had been healing others.
This is when I started doing things at my time and put in the work to focus on holistic and herbal healing. This time I was not healing a loved one, but myself. It was not that hard to be honest, but the one thing that it did for me is that I was now able to sleep better, rested more and did the things I loved. Quality time with my partner increased and it was nice as it was not timed. We did it whenever and wherever, not really, but you get my drift right? Lol
This is when the Endometriosis combo was brought into life and I steamed and took my meds! The one thing I did was I was consistent. I felt like I had more energy, my skin was glowing and I was constantly craving my partner! YES! LOL!!! 2 months after I had taken a break from trying to conceive while we waited to do IVF. My friend who is also my sister from another mother, came to me and she wanted us to talk. Strange I thought, because we talk everyday, all day!
Guess what?! She was pregnant and it happened without her even trying… She felt she needed to tell me in person because she knew how much I wanted a baby. We went on a date with her first born daughter and she broke the news to me. I was so happy for her, it felt like I was pregnant! I had not felt so happy for someone to be pregnant, and I celebrated her all the way! You might be wondering… and then…? Well, I don’t want to be cheesy, because it sounds cheesy!
But here it goes…
2 months after she told me she was pregnant… I missed my period and she urged me to test! I refused to test… I only tested after a month of missing my period because I started feeling very tired and I was not in anyway having it. I had to take naps at work and my urine was neon yellow, regardless of how much water I drank, my breasts were sore and felt like they were getting more painful by the day. If it were not for those symptoms, I do not think I would have tested.
It turned out it was positive! I did blood tests as well, and it was a positive!!! Went and bought more tests! And it was positive!!! Saying I was happy is an understatement, I was just... over the moon. I couldn't believe it but there I was..pregnant!
I called my mom and told her, of course she was over the moon too! I then booked an appointment with my Dr he thought was coming in to schedule my IVF, and when I told her, he could not believe it!!!
And that my loves, is how yoni Healing was born, and how my baby was conceived! My friend and I were pregnant at the same time, this was one of the magical things I got to experienced in this sisterhood. Our children are also sisters in love.
Here is a pic of me and my friend at her baby shower
Another pic of me and her with her baby at my baby shower😊.
And as the story of my endometriosis journey comes to an end, I want you to feel the strength of our shared journey. Every step you take, every challenge you overcome, we're in this together. So my loves, when you're feeling alone on this journey of healing or conception, remember that there's a community of fighters right here, standing by your side. Your journey is important, your story is important, and together, we're here to support you through it all❤️.
I also want you to know that I'm here to listen and celebrate with you. Your success stories are my joy too. If you ever want to chat or share your story, don't hesitate to reach out to me on WhatsApp 065 225 2525. I'm just a message away😊.
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Benefits of yoni steaming?
Endometriosis
Period pains need not stand in your way of life!
Change the way you think about sex?
